Tess = ArithmeTICKED OFF

I often confuse left with right. I understand the concepts of left and right perfectly well in theory, but in practice I turn a lot of circles. Scholars of my existence have identified a recurring motif: I'll misspell "ie" words with "ei", call Doug "Dave", shift to reverse when I mean to drive, yadida. I've accepted this as a glitch in my brain and I'm okay with turning a few circles occasionally, but I'm not fucking doing math anymore.

If you tell me I can excel in math by just trying harder, I'll blow up your house with a bazooka. I know I can excel in math, but I can only do it if I constantly flagellate myself and invest all of my energy into working against my natural weaknesses, and in that amount of time I could achieve three times as much doing something else. It's a waste of my effen time - so don't invite me to your math parties; don't take me on a math cruise to Math Island. I don't have to go, and I won't. Fuck your math.