Tess is Super Serial

I like That 70's Show even though it has a laugh track, which is amazing. Why? I think everything I like about it is summed up by its being set in the 70's. Choosing to set a sitcom in the most ridiculous decade of the century creates a solid foundation for endless tongue-in-cheek humor. That 70's Show isn't innovative; its humor is unabashedly retro and garish, but it's very self-aware. It doesn't take itself seriously, and it's much easier for me to enjoy television if I don't bother trying to take it seriously (example, America's Next Top Model; exception, Metalocalypse, which I consume with deadly seriousness). Plus, it's actually funny. Plus, I have a huge crush on Laura Prepon. [Edit: Nope, I was wrong. That 70's Show is definitely innovative. Its humor pays homage to the garish style of the time, but it has a modern sensibility. I still have a crush on Laura Prepon, though.]

Taking things seriously is not a favorite hobby of mine. I dislike most euphemisms because they demand to be taken seriously despite their literal absurdity. "Passing on" is something done with a note that says "Do You Like Me? Yes - No - Maybe". "Making love" makes me think of Keebler elves icing heart-shaped sugar cookies. Blech. Do couples that "make love" flatter themselves that the sweaty mechanical interaction of their genitals is conjuring some magical attraction? They're probably confused about the chicken and the egg, too. In the unnecessary event that love and sex are related, love makes sex, not vice versa. [Edit: That was narrow-minded of me. Sex definitely precedes love sometimes, but not enough to justify the euphemism.] The closest I've gotten to "making love" with someone is especially tender cuddling, when I felt the distinct possibility that love between us was actually being created. I think euphemisms are like using rubber-tipped bullets to break up a riot: a cowardly method that smacks of douche. (Smacks of Douche, my anthology of feminist poetry, will be released later this year.) I can, however, definitely be caught using ridiculous euphemisms on purpose, especially when sex is involved. And kids, when you make whoopee, remember to wrap your willy.