Tessevision

When I think about all the television shows that are worth my time, the length of the list corresponds to how shite I feel. I'd love to be one of those people who stick to a precious few favorite shows, because their TV intake is limited by their interest. But alas, I have genuine interest in all of the following and more: Metalocalypse, 30 Rock, Mad Men, Weeds, Project Runway, South Park, the Simpsons, Venture Bros., True Blood, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, America's Next Top Model, Flight of the Conchords, Freaks and Geeks, Futurama, Strangers with Candy, Planet Earth, Arrested Development, House, the Sarah Silverman Program... and now I feel like some sort of jelly-brained agent of Tha Man. I care so much it hurts. Thankfully a couple of those shows are over so I don't have to face the doom of continuing my devotion indefinitely.

But wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on a second now - what's inherently bad about TV anyway? Yes, it tends to be vacuous/offensive/brainwashing/addictive/etc., but what about the good stuff? TV is the medium of the age. It has incredible power to unite people worldwide, and it has its own unique artistic merit. It's not lowly and backwards, it's refined and modern. (Try not to think about Jackass while reading this.) As viewers, we'd be stupid to let TV govern our lives, but that would be true of anything, and it reflects a problem in us rather than in TV. So: screw you, hippies; marry me, TiVo.